i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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