god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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