Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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