note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
