so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Brb crying the tears of my youth