Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude