Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.