So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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