Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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