I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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