Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
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