i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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