First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
