Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
