my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
