After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
