The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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