I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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