im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
