just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize