i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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