I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
