your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Randomize
