Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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