I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
