Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
