it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
