he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
