i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
