ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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