I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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