i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
