I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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