So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Randomize
