i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I understand Curling. That high.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
