That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
