Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

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  (858): you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch. http://tfl.nu/r7zt
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I seem to have left my pride at pride

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  (516): I seem to have left my pride at pride http://tfl.nu/xiz2
  Replies (17) Good night (2037) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.

  (713): View more from Texas

  what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.

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  (832): my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over. (713): what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper. http://tfl.nu/jxuh
  Replies (95) Good night (814) Bad night (5724)
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  (516): View more from New York

  and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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  (516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3
  Replies (14) Good night (13883) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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  (410): forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this http://tfl.nu/291a
  Replies (27) Good night (928) Bad night (8051)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

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  (678): Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages." http://tfl.nu/1o45
  Replies (24) Good night (1551) Bad night (14205) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4740) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

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  (902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx
  Replies (14) Good night (1336) Bad night (3680) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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  (602): Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again? http://tfl.nu/01x5
  Replies (5) Good night (3262) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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  (518): They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower http://tfl.nu/ye9z
  Replies (10) Good night (3282) Bad night (791)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.

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  (936): uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again. http://tfl.nu/cxza
  Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (1662) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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  (757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o
  Replies (14) Good night (3661) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

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  (970): Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine. http://tfl.nu/g50l
  Replies (5) Good night (1381) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.

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  (814): I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before. http://tfl.nu/yjkb
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (289)

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