i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.