chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
