Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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