Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best. http://tfl.nu/21y4
  Replies (14) Good night (2654) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church! http://tfl.nu/fvvt
  Replies (17) Good night (4635) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped. http://tfl.nu/0vpq
  Replies (5) Good night (3623) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight http://tfl.nu/h3vp
  Replies (10) Good night (3979) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught http://tfl.nu/rq68
  Replies (13) Good night (5037) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars. http://tfl.nu/fh2v
  Replies (13) Good night (4521) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week http://tfl.nu/99uq
  Replies (26) Good night (6682) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xikz
  Replies (27) Good night (3852) Bad night (2084)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"... http://tfl.nu/ev8f
  Replies (5) Good night (3825) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself http://tfl.nu/qcs9
  Replies (5) Good night (2363) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/3986
  Replies (25) Good night (1024) Bad night (3714)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): 2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick. http://tfl.nu/06th
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  yay hump day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra. (765): yay hump day http://tfl.nu/qbqw
  Replies (7) Good night (2256) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard. http://tfl.nu/2lw3
  Replies (17) Good night (4294) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (811)

Randomize