True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
