What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
