Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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