Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
