the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
