no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
