I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
