I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
