when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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