My hand turned me down
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
