My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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