Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize