Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
