omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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