Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
