Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
