dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
