So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
