i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize