oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
