some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she peed on how many people?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
