also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
