Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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