well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
