So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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