I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
