I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this boner is exhausting
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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