I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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