Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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