OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
