Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
